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MEET FRED

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This is Retread Fred, the cheapest sexually active man on the planet. That’s not a title most people would want, but Fred oddly embraces it. Fred is so cheap that he refuses to buy condoms. Instead, he takes everyday items and finds a new use for them. His ingenuity will impress you while simultaneously giving you the creeps. Even though we want the world to know about NOW, we’re going to keep it a secret from Fred for a little while longer. We know it’s not the nicest thing to do to his partners but we can’t resist.

Don’t be Fred—Get NOW!


WARNING: Do not imitate or attempt to replicate anything Fred does regarding condoms. Fred is an idiot who really shouldn’t be alive. Following in Fred’s sleazy footsteps can result in gonorrhea, diarrhea, other rrheas, HIV, HPV, NCAA suspension, syphilis, warts, rashes, uncontrollable itching, bleeding, controllable itching, blue balls, purple balls, so red you better finally see a doctor balls, unwanted pregnancies, diaper changing, child support and arrest for not paying child support. Like we said, Fred is an idiot.

 

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Get a Bowl of Fun!
An assortment of great NOW condoms.
Think big. Spend less.


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Satisfaction Guarantee
So you can focus on doing the same.


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This Reality Bites
$43.99? A drug store trip shouldn't include an ATM visit.


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